Oh, and I just bought this belt buckle:



I may be turning into a diva-obsessed monster-faggot. But then again, all of my pants need extensive belting...

Lord knows that I love me some Chick Tracts. My own vast collection reamins in Seattle, but Mr. Chick's online presence satisfies me when I'm jonsing for Jebus here in NYC.

Great news from Jack T. Chick!

All your faves have been redrawn AND rewritten for those of a duskier bent:



Beginning this month, we are rolling out a new tract series with the same story but with black characters. We have taken some of our most popular Chick tracts and redrawn them with black characters. To avoid confusion in ordering, we have renamed them. Somebody Loves Me is called Hard Times.

Does this strike anyone else as creepy?

Maybe if all the lord-lubbers can be kept busy with ridiculous factionism, I will finally be free to marry a dog. Hallelujah.

Proof of a higher power

Look what landed on Youtube:



















Thank-you, Fourfour

I'm a Furniture Hobo

Last night, after seeing the phenominal Jeffery Lewis Band and slumming it grand with new and amazing colleague Victoria, I encountered this in a garbage pile outside my glamorous Inwood apartment building:




It was full of filth, and smelled like it had spent the 60-something years since its manufacture inside a cigar bar. Still, I loved its sexy rounded corners and deco handle, so I dragged it inside.

This morning, I hoofed it to my workshop for some rehab. It turned out that under the cigar-tar, the entire thing had been wrapped in gold-flecked contact paper:




It's barely visible, but it was super dramatic at the time.

I peeled the crap off, stripped the paint, sanded it for consistant texure, and gave it a coat of paste wax.

I am quite happy with my new-n-free arts-n-crafts armoir:

To the snark-ass who anonymously e-mailed me about the tortoise shell sconce:

If you're so concerned about lack of respect for the dead, why don't you go after the Gap's current skinny black pant campaign?

Even if the Gap is "making a generous contribution to the Audrey Hepburn Children's Fund in celebration of the launch of the Keep It Simple ad campaign," I don't think Audrey Hepburn would have wiped her skinny white can with those skinny black pants.

What have you been making, Jake?

I'm on another lamp kick. Last week, I was recovering shades in watermarked faille and Tyvek, but yesterday I kicked into high gear:

Shortly before I left our fantastic, cheap apartment on 18th Avenue, I came upon a large tortise shell on the building free table. Not knowing exactly why, I grabbed it. It sat in a storage box for a couple of years before I shipped it to New York.

Yesterday, it was reborn:




I can't sell it, but I can own it.

I'm sure that some will question my morals for using part of a dead endangered species. I invite them to make a clever craft out of my corpse when the time comes.

I didn't make this, but damn, I wish I had...

Bletriotism

It will be mine...

Oh, yes, it wll.

From the American Crafts Festival.

None of the displayed jewelry-like items were even close to a hoot.

What have you been making, Jake?

My summer gig is the best job in the world, or would be if it lasted longer than 8 weeks. But 8 weeks of paid arts-and-crafts time is nothing to shake a stick at and I'd like to tell you all about it. Right now.



I whipped up this baby quilt for what ended up being a baby doll filled with sand.




I roasted a 26 lb turkey...




But only to get the bones, which I picked clean, bleached, and dried to make this lovely art project.




I always have to do some paper mache.




And make fake food, which is may favorite. I need to figure out what else to with tortillas printed on fabric...

Gold Pants Lullaby

You have seen, I'm sure, the Sweet smelling sweater salad...

But were you even aware of this?



Watch everything at Leslie Hall on Youtube.
Because after we are married, I won't let her share her genius art projects with anyone but me.

Scratchy is alone. Read this:




Having read other work of his, I can't say that the writing throws me. However, the information communicated is heartbreaking.

Itchy and Scratchy were the first gays I encountered in seattle, or at least the first ones I noticed. It was at Safeway- Scratchy, in full radical faerie ragalia, was leading the much taller, butcher Itchy, in a dirty jockstrap and leather chaps, on a leash in the canned goods aisle. From what I gather, it was early in their relationship- before they were blacklisted for wetting their pants at bars together.

Enjoy these highlights of an archived story about Itchy and Scratchy's glory days at The Puyallup Fair:

According to the Associated Press, the men say they wore T-shirts and leather chaps over
swim trunks to signify their pride in their sexual orientation.

...the Pierce County sheriff's deputy who asked them to leave, said Kasemeier was wearing
chaps and black bikini underwear "with a large amount of pubic hair and flesh exposed."





This is the picture that ran in the SGN. The ghostly script reads Vashig; it is his driver's license picture. This is the saddest thing. Ever.



and just to be sure you know




http://www.youtube.com/v/98B0n3BVK7k

Snapped in Choy's Chinese Cuisine on lower Queen Anne, Seattle

Terra Cotta Warriors

I snapped these Terra Cotta tiles lined up inside the former Pande Cameron store on Pine Street at 9th Ave.


They remind me of these:




When I initially drove past the building, I didn't know that the tiles had been carefully removed and numbered for replacement.
Here's to at least one block saved from the scourge of synthetic stucco








more Terra Cotta preservation

Seattle is gorgeous.

Scarf Dancing Anytime Anywhere

Remember this movie I made, featuring Scratchy doing his scarf dance at Pride?

Well, he was banned from dancing in Westlake Park last week, and showed up at the offices of The Stranger where my dear Last Days is employed. Scratchy showed up full of fire, but nobody was interested and he left without incident.

But another ban on his dancing inspired the letter below:







First they went after the lap dancers in the strip clubs and the table dancers then bellydancers. I signed the pitition stop the stupidity. Freedom of expression we need it It keps getting worst I have danced I have danced for many years at our great festivals Bumbershoot Folklife Ballard U O Freemont Downtown Seattle at Private Partys in churchs. I dance with 3x6 pieces of chifon cloth to the music many people photo graph me and ask for audographs At the International District here in Seattle I was told by 7 pigs that I was to forever imiditly cease and desist. I ame considerably less than pleased have been sujesting people sujest to two of their friends 2 4 8 10 30 64 doubling indefinitely Leave a message on the mayor’s voice mail ONCE that there is decent and people and less than happy about this scarf dance and other dance bans I can be reached by mail or by phone any time except 9:30-11:00 on Tuesday and 10:30-11:00 on Wendsday other wise 24 7





I have color photos of myself or I am willing to be photographed and or interviewed if you chose

I have lived on the hill since March 1973 dances andrognisly

Loud and proud

I have contacted S.G.N. and Seattle Counciling Servics (illegible) a pint.

I have written the mayor and the city council

WHO IS NEXT?

One person said what is next are they going to bust my dog for dancing with other dogs in the off leash (illegible) dog park?

I also have done hundreds of pices of art that you may like to use on your cover I have photos of them in an album.

Ocasionly I am in a weak signal area with my mobile phone




On the back of page 2:
I caved in to them as I could not do C.O. and I have to come up with $200,000 cash bail






And he included a hair.

Jump in his Car.

Gift Wrapping Room

The widow of TV titan Aaron Spelling is not selling their 56,000-sq-foot home, The Manor, despite reports that emerged Wednesday that the estate was on the market for $150 million.

The Manor is built on rollers to make it through earthquakes unscathed. It houses four bars, three kitchens, a theater, a gym, an Olympic-size swimming pool, a doll museum, a separate servants' wing, a 6,000-sq.-ft. guest house, eight double-car garages, tennis courts, a gazebo, a greenhouse, 12 fountains, six formal gardens and a room just for gift wrapping




This gift wrapping room does not belong to Candy Spelling.

From a Time interview with Aaron Spelling:

Q. You have a gift-wrapping room in your house, right?
A. My wife loves to wrap.
It could take her two hours to wrap one gift.
Then you find out it's for the pizza delivery man.

I feel like I should have recieved something from Candy by now.





And the gift wrapping room buzz is unstoppable! Enjoy this Google-translated German blog item:

The thing with the Poison Wrapping Room that Spellings is legendarily since more than ten years ago in Vanity fair a picture area mentioned by Candy Spelling in appeared; it packs up the things themselves, bobbes, because “shopping and wrapping is therapeutic” (Candy). That Messuage of the Spellings in Bel air, there simply admits the largest as “The Manor”, was by the way long time.

Haw. Gift means poison in German. And now it makes sense.

Scratchy Dances